Pet Rock

People will spend their hard earned dollars on almost anything, if the marketing is right. If someone should disagree with this generality, two words will win the argument every time: Pet Rock.

For California ad exec Gary Dahl, his now legendary “Why didn’t I think of that” stroke of genius ‘rocked’ the foundations of commerce in one short, six month flurry in 1975. Disillusioned with the realities of actual pet care, Dahl’s brainchild was born during a tenacious case of marketing savvy and a few cocktails. Packaged in a cardboard crate, complete with air holes and a straw bed for the delicate “pet” to rest, the idea proved to be a great loophole for parents fending off puppy requests from insistent children. For fewer than four dollars, the concept became a must-have for the Holiday season of ’75. Included was a tongue in cheek manual that showed proud new owners how to train their pets to roll over, play dead, and attack. Also included was unexpected membership into the Kitsch Hall of Fame.

Rock on.

Billy Beer

Pencil Fights

Pencil break (sometimes called “pencil fighting”): that one on one contest pitting pencil against pencil has long been outlawed in elementary and middle schools across the land. The rules are simple: one strike per turn. The player receiving the strike must hold his pencil firmly in a horizontal position. The striker must use a two handed “fling” motion; holding the top of the pencil with his less dominant hand, releasing, and applying a “catapult” motion with his dominant striking hand. Alternating turns commence until one player’s pencil does, in fact, break.

Pencil break matches have been known to commence, as preplanned duels, on playgrounds, during lunch breaks, in bathrooms, and nearly everywhere the panoptic eye of a teacher, administrator, or principal does not see. Small crowds of observers, most often male, erupt around the pencil break match. Often, observers await the winner with their champion #2 “smasher,” or surreptitiously customized “choppers,” or “slammers,” subtly reinforced through means analogous to “bat corking” found in baseball. Erasers are sometimes removed and the metal ferrule is flattened into a crude blade, mangling tiny jagged slices cross grain through the opponent’s shaft.

The subculture of pencil break remains a symbolic means of expressing inchoate machismo, youthful expressions of prowess, and rebellion against authority.

Archie Comics

Garbage Pail Kids

Garbage Pail Kids

In the 1980’s, the phenomenon of Cabbage Patch Kids swept America. The concept of being trampled while shopping was introduced to our minds and our television screens. As it was, these little round faced dolls were taking over the world. And in the never-ending gender war that engulfs our elementary schools, little boys were losing the battle.

Until Adam Bomb came to the rescue. Joined by the likes of Jay Decay, Up Chuck, Fat Matt, Iris Virus and a host of others, a counter attack was launched.

Garbage Pail Kids were dreamt up to challenge the popularity of the aforementioned doll maker, taking such dangerous strides as mirroring the logo, look, and other blatant intellectual property of their rival. For a quarter, five cards and a stick of hardened bubble gum could be purchased everywhere, from gas stations to toy stores. With their grotesque images and cheesy punned names, the Topps Company collectibles soon overtook the baseball trading card slot for little boys, as well as classrooms-at one point in the mid 1980’s, the deliciously nasty little keepsakes were banned from schools. As it turned out, a Dead Ted card was much more interesting than multiplication tables.

Garbage Pail Kids are still around today, providing ammo for lasting and distasteful nicknames for every little Billy or Katie in the cafeteria. Even some adults still get a kick out of the throwback to better times-just ask our editor, Mike Spike.

Lunchboxes

Archie Comics

Pencil Fights

CBGB

315 Bowery at Bleecker Street in Manhattan now houses a high end fashion boutique. The alley behind it has been paved into a pedestrian walkway. The entire area is user friendly and pretty.

In another realm, invisible to the naked eye, the ghosts of this little spot are doing things that are unsuitable for print.

Image Ronnie Ramone

The full name of the place was “Country Bluegrass Blues and Other Music For Uplifting Gormandizers”, but for the creatures of the night, the four generations of anti-everything revolutionists, it was known as CBGB. “CB’s”, to regulars like Jagger, Springsteen and Warhol. “The birthplace of American punk rock”, to all.

Before the term “Punk Rock” was coined, CBGB was born in 1973. Brain child of legendary underground maestro Hilly Kristal, the venue initially set out to showcase performers of the genres that made up its acronym, but was cosmically chosen to become the launching pad of the angst driven, moody cyclone of anarchy and art that is indeed punk. Names like Patti Smith, The Ramones, Misfits, Blondie and Bad Brains were among the party crashers at CBGB, which at the time was one of the few forums for original American underground music. Hardcore Punk performers, both Straight Edge and not, used the heavily graffiti layered walls as a launching pad. Count Gorilla Biscuits, Tool, Rollins Band, and Youth of Today amongst the thrashers that once bounced on the hallowed stage.

The CBGB experience was not limited to the Punk scene, though. Country legend Alan Jackson played before a sold out crowd. In their first U.S. concert, The Police played to almost no one. Even The Dave Matthews Band, the antithesis of nonconformity and revolt, were signed because of a gig at Hilly’s iconic music hall. But, at its very core, CBGB was Punk.

CBGB closed its doors in 2006. Though a Punk Rock Museum or Hall of Fame would be somewhat of an oxymoron, given the ideology of the genre, CBGB might have been just that. Before his death, Hilly Kristal had sought National Landmark status, a request which received an inconceivable denial. The club does live on for younger generations through film, television, gaming and advertisements (again a conflict for purists), but no re-enactment, this writing included, can capture the essence of what CBGB was. Nothing truly can. For fans, it was a place to see future giants and aspiring prophets play next to superstars. It was a scene in which the names on the marquee might have been an eclectic blend of platinum records and a plumber from Queens with a mean axe.

Just no covers-bring your own art. DIY. And make it original.

"I felt very good about it, letting them do their own thing," Hilly said in later years. "In any art form, I think that's the most important thing." Unique he was. Original was the joint. Legend, is CBGB.

Exclusive Eric Burdon Interview

Straight Edge

Remember When? Lunchboxes

The idea emanated in the 19th century. In an America sans fast food, workers hit the daily grind, their mid day grub secured safely in the confines of a tobacco can. From there, the concept spilled onto school children. Metal boxes, sealed with a clasp and carried by handle, a vessel for their mother’s PB&J and carrot sticks. A Lithograph on its side, to tell the world the carrier’s likes. Facebook for its day.

The lunch box was serious business.

Mickey Mouse was the first licensed character to appear on a lunch box in 1935, a surprise to no one. From there, the floodgates were blasted open. On the inside, the box made everything smell tinny-salami sandwiches did not hold well after hours in the aluminum coffin- but the exterior was all that truly mattered. From Barbie and Rainbow Brite to Star Wars and He- Man, lunch time for a child of the 70’s and 80’s was all about reppin. Little did we know at the time that we had become free marketing for toy conglomerates and TV executives. All that mattered then was choosing a side; Go Bots or Transformers, Wonder Woman or Jem, The Munster’s or The Addams Family. If you had a matching thermos, your social status hit the stratosphere.

Today, in our idiot proof world, lunchboxes still exist, but the synthesized plastic lacks in charm. Every generation has a different vantage on nostalgia, but somehow today’s youth packing their food in a Justin Bieber pail does not tug at the heartstrings as it did when we traded Oreos and Twinkies from our Knight Rider boxes. By the way, the Hoff and Kit gracing a mint lunchbox? It’s worth about $300 today.

Take that, Bieber Fever.

Roller Rinks

Archie Comics

Pencil Fights

Our Story

It used to be simple, cinema. A trip to the video store (remember those?) was divided into sections: Drama, Comedy, Romance, Children, and Action. Then someone had to make it difficult; enter subcategories. Noir, Buddy Films, Fantasy, Biopic…and the worst of all, Coming of Age. Not the worst because of the content, but the worst because of the carelessly thrown label. Stoner flicks and road trip movies muddied it up. Misuse has soiled it. If someone describes everything, from a parking spot to a soft pretzel, as “Heavenly”, Heaven suddenly loses its shine.

Every generation has had their story told on the big screen, some bad and some worse. We take a look at some of the few “Coming of Age” tales that truly stand out to us at AP, films from six decades we feel embrace what was unfolding in America at the time. As always, opinions are just that-let the good natured debating commence.

Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

Nicholas Ray’s stark social commentary on teen angst and his underlying theme of moral decay in America was groundbreaking for its time. The age old conflict of confused, misguided youth in a tunnel vision world had always been stereotyped as an urban affliction, and Rebel showed the suburban reality of such matters. Filmed amidst rumblings of a cultural overhaul, the movie embraced the uncertain feelings of the society around it. Rebel Without a Cause was released one month after Dean’s untimely demise; Dean and Rebel,the symbol of revolution.

The Graduate (1967)

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me.

That famous line revved the engines and imaginations of young men everywhere in Mike Nichols’ iconic film about a melancholic, confused college grad in the turbulent sixties. Biting and satiric, The Graduate masterfully captured the clash between the old guard and the new dreamers in an era immersed in Vietnam, rock-n-roll, and sparring ideologies. The musical score catapulted Simon & Garfunkel’s careers, and altered the manner music would forever guide a film.

Cooley High (1975)

Though shot in 1975, the plot unfolds in 1964 in Chicago. Centered around a group of friends, the nostalgic look- back reinvented the concept of high school comedy, although the film includes elements of tragedy and loss. At the time, African American cinema was inundated with blaxploitation and false portrayals of an entire people, and Cooley High’s mainstream release greatly helped to spark an upheaval of change in the industry. Arguably one of the greatest scores in Hollywood history did not hurt its appeal either.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Cameron Crowe’s iconic telling of a year in the life of various high school students as they truly were was another one of those flicks that pushed the comfort zone a tad bit more than anyone had before. Abortion, drugs, young love and social status were prevalent themes, each brushed with poignancy and in-the-know humor. America was introduced to the social hub that is the mall, and the idea of Jeff Spicoli became the bane of Nancy Reagan’s existence.

Boyz n the Hood (1991)

Urban decline and the reality of South Central Los Angeles, itself a symbol of struggling communities in every major city, might as well have been a myth to middle America before John Hughes brought his powerful and culturally significant masterpiece to the big screen. With classic themes such as man vs. environment and man vs. himself, the critically acclaimed Boyz n the Hood painted a human portrait on a landscape void of it.

Almost Famous (2000)

Cameron Crowe strikes again in his semi-autobiographical tale of a sheltered teenage writer struggling with the flickering lights of associative fame and the permanent truths of his existence. Losing virginity, falling in and out of love, and committing the cardinal sin of meeting one’s heroes tie together a brilliant take on growing up too fast. Set in the 1970’s the film also captures glimpses of the music scene of the time, and poetically captures the emotions that fleeting fame incites.

Dazed and Confused

Savoy Ballroom Harlem

“Either dance well or quit the ballroom”

-Greek proverb

It was billed as the “World’s Finest Ballroom”. Regulars dubbed it “The Track”. For many Harlemites, it was simply “Home”.

From 1926-1958, The Savoy Ballroom was the hub of dance and music for Gotham’s artistic elite. Owned by a Jewish man and run by an African-American with a predominantly African-American staff, The Savoy was well ahead of its time as far racial unity went. Thus the beauty. Inside its hallowed halls, the ballroom stretched one city block, and was a bastion of good times and better company, as the very eclectic mix of race and creed, forbidden outside to engage in such human undertakings as song and dance with one another, Lindy Hopped and Jitter Bugged openly and freely together. Founded in the Roaring Twenties on the heels of the Harlem Renaissance, the venue was discriminating in taste only; hostesses in evening gowns, bouncers clad in bow tie and suit. It was an event, a place to be seen, and an innovative movement in a world stuck on pause.

House musician Chick Webb maintained the voracious and up tempo soundtrack to the era, while mountains such as Benny Goodman, Ella Fitzgerald, Charlie Parker, Thelonious Monk and Dizzy Gillespie were as common as a cigarette girl. From the artistic breeding ground that was The Savoy, staples in American dance such as the Shimmy, the Flyin’ Charleston, and The Stomp originated. Even the loneliest fellow was a star-for a dime, he could learn the steps and dance with one of the many jaw dropping chanteuses.

Overlooked but not forgotten, The Savoy Ballroom was a place that was bathed in magic, where inklings of what America could be first sprouted. The “Home of Happy Feet” was the home of happy souls-Black, White, rich or poor. The only caveat: Do not miss the beat.

Chet Baker Story

Wonder Bread

Wonder Bread has been an American staple of prepackaged wholesome goodness since 1921. The familiar red, yellow, and blue circles on the logo is said to be inspired by a balloon race witnessed at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, by then vice president of the company, Elmer Cline.

Sliced bread, the unit of measure as to something’s inherent goodness, was first introduced by the Wonder Bread company for large scale production and distribution in the 1930s, suspended due to war efforts in 1943, and reintroduced in 1945. Hence, Wonder Bread, as sliced bread, remained a paragon or benchmark for intrinsic “greatness.”

Endorsements by Howdy Doody and Buffalo Bob Smith in the 1950s galvanized Wonder Bread’s cultural status within the United States, letting a generation of baby boomers know: “Wonder Bread builds strong bodies in 8 ways.”

The bread has undergone some slight transformations over the years, including an introduction of “Wonder Light Bread” in 1986 reflecting a consciousness toward dieting, and “Wonder Made with Whole Grain White” in 2006 reflecting a trend toward more basic and natural nutrition. Wonder Bread remains an intrinsic American food today, for its simplicity and availability, and continues to hold a place in the heart of the nation.

Billy Beer

Promoted by Billy Carter younger brother of then President- Jimmy Carter, 1978

Pet Rock

Rock-Ola Juke Boxes

Surnames are generally inspired by the social statuses and trades of our ancestors. If your last name is Smith or Carpenter, odds are that somewhere in your family tree a blacksmith or a carpenter plied away in that field. Then there is the rare counter. If you were David C. Rockola, a movement that incorporated status, occupation and attitude just might have been dubbed in your honor.

A pretty big deal when that movement is Rock and Roll.

Rock-Ola is as synonymous with the jukebox as Jacuzzi is with the hot tub. When the company was founded in 1927, they immediately became king of the mountain in the Coin-Op industry, crafting slot games, scales, and pinball machines. But it was in the late 1930’s/early 40’s when Rock-Ola truly put the shine on their American legacy, with their curvaceous and gothic music machines. From the local five and dime to the root beer stand, the festive 45rpm mega phonograph was the only place to find the newest tunes, up to 100 songs, for a nickel per play. It was also the one melting pot where the smooth pulsations of Duke Ellington shared a home with the twangy notes of Hank Williams, where the silky harmonies of Motown were separated by a mere digit on the command pad from the welcomed conquerors of the British Invasion. Whether it were two teenagers lost in puppy love over a shared malt, or hard working and harder drinking factory employees celebrating a Friday with a cold one, a Rock-Ola hummed the soundtrack of their lives.

Rock-Ola still fabricates the iconic apparatus today, with either a vintage homage or a modern flair. We just ask that you do not play Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”. Some things are just overly excessive.

Shelby Lynne